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Child Care Solutions
By Kay Kuzma, Ed.D.
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| Photo: Hemera |
When both mother and father work outside the home, child care becomes the vital issue. Can you find for your children the quality of care you could provide if you stayed home? The first seven years are so important, you don’t want to settle for second best. That’s why for many parents, the ideal arrangement is when mom and dad can juggle their schedules and at least one of them be home with their children. But if that means they never see each other–which could put a strain on their marriage–then other options should be considered.
Care-givers, if not parents, should be mature, attentive, capable, and responsible. The best care-givers are those who have a special love for the child; who are committed and willing to sacrifice personal desires in order to meet the child’s needs. The younger the child–the more important it is that the care-giver establishes a bonding relationship with the child. Here are possibilities:
- Relative or close friend: In most cases, a relative or close friend meets this criteria most easily. Your first choice would probably be to have the care-giver come to your home, so the children are in a familiar environment and you would not have the hassle of having to get your children ready to go to another home. If that’s not possible, make sure the environment where they will be staying is safe and healthy.
- Family day care: The next option might be a quality family day care home where a mother takes care of her own children and a few more–usually up to a total of six. It is very important the check out this possibility carefully, getting references from a number of parents who have used this particular home. Even state licensed homes which are inspected for safety, are only as good as the mother in charge. Interview the day care parent to make sure her philosophy of parenting is similar to yours. Here are a few questions you should ask: What kind of discipline does she use? If children are having a conflict, how would she solve it? If a child refused to do what she requested, what would she do? What kind of enrichment opportunities does she provide? How many books does she read to the children daily? What does she feed the children, and when? How much television are the children allowed to watch? How much does she watch? (The best answer to the TV questions would be none.) Since there is no on-site supervision of the mothers in family day care, it is important that you drop in occasionally when you’re not expected and see if you like what’s happening.
- Child care center: A licensed child care facility might be a possibility. Before enrolling, observe the program and see if you like the environment, and feel comfortable with the quality of the teachers, the teacher/child ratio, the toys and equipment, and the flexibility of the program to meet your children’s needs. Quality programs encourage parents to be involved, visit at any time, and they offer good parenting information and support.
- A nanny or full-time live-in care-giver: Since this option is the most expensive, not many families during the first seven years have the finances to consider it. Here are the benefits: It is convenient. Plus, nannies are usually trained and have chosen this line of work because of their love for children. Sometimes young girls from foreign counties enjoy spending a couple years living with a family, learning the language, and caring for their children.
If you have the space, and don’t mind the loss of privacy that bringing another adult into your home might cause, you might try this option for a summer and see if it fits your lifestyle. The disadvantage of this type of arrangement is that parents may become so dependent on the care-giver that they can be tempted to work longer hours away from home causing their children to bond more with the nanny than their parents.
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