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Family

Families--we can't survive without them, and sometimes we can't live with them. What can we do? Whether your family is "ideal" or plagued with some overwhelming problems, there's something here for you!

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Grandma's Gift - Recently I picked up an imaginative doll in a gift shop and read about Danna. She has a company, “Danna Does Dolls.” Each of her dolls comes with a tag that reads, “I remember as a young child my grandmother taking me to a field of bright orange poppies.

Growing Season - It would be five years before I saw my son again, but God accomplished a lot of work in that time and the reunion is a time I'll never forget as long as I live. It had always been difficult with a husband in the merchant marines. Mike was gone two weeks and home two weeks all throughout the year.

The Effects of Anger - Did you know that unresolved anger can affect you? We wonder what the Bible text in Ephesians 4:26 means when it says “Be angry, but do not sin.” Actually, anger is a common, daily emotion, one we cannot avoid, and should not try to deny or suppress. It’s an emotion you cannot bury and forget. It’s not sinful to get angry, and God expects that we will, however anger is fear, frustration, and hurt feelings coming together.

Mental Illness at Home - Growing up in any family has its challenges. But those challenges are compounded when a family member has a mental illness. Children living in a home where one or both of their parents have a mental illness experience instability, unpredictability and confusion.

Intentional Joy - Webster doesn’t usually make for easy reading, but his definition of joy pretty well wraps it up! As a noun joy is, “excitement or pleasurable feeling caused by the acquisition or expression of good, gladness, pleasure; delight; the cause of satisfaction and happiness.”

Live-in Lovers - Living together before marriage is almost a sure predictor of failure. Seven recent studies concur that couples who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate than those who don't. Three studies in the United States show that couples who live together before marriage are more likely to separate or divorce within ten years.

I'm Bored - "I’m bored" are two of the sorriest words ever uttered to me by my children or grandchildren. My response is usually, “Only boring people are bored.”

Disorganized Mom - You say your whole life is a mess and needs straightening up—your relationship with God, your budget, parenting and marriage. You can't tackle all your life problems at one time. Here's our plan. We begin with what we have today.

When to Start School - During the first seven years the best "school" environment is where children have a wide variety of hands-on practical experiences inside and outdoors; are free to move about, express themselves and establish positive friendships with others, and progress in academic skills at their own rate.

Giving The Gift of Life - Death sometimes occurs abruptly, surprising unprepared relatives and loved ones. Then there's the question of organ donation. Often families are asked to make this life-saving decision during an already difficult time.

Child Care Solutions - When both mother and father work outside the home, child care becomes the vital issue. Can you find for your children the quality of care you could provide if you stayed home?

Just Hold Me - I have come to believe that God's greatest miracle is His restraint. How else could He not give us the answers to the prayers that our hearts long for?

Beware of Jealousy - According to the Oxford American Dictionary, jealousy is being resentfully suspicious of rivalry (like your lover); resentfully envious which is being discontent or ill-will over another's advantages or possessions, a desire for something that another has.

Character Traits - How much of our personality, how much of our capacity to live the moral life and develop our character is fixed by Mom and Dad's genes? And how much of it is open for us to direct and practice and determine with God's leading and help?

Effective Grievers - The death of someone we love is one of life's harshest blows. The bereavement that emerges can generate loneliness, fear, guilt, regret, rage, depression, and even despair. Yet people can and do heal from those wounds.

Authoritarian Parenting - My wife and I have three children, one of whom is beginning first grade, while the others are pre school age. We've worked hard on obedience, but at times we have disagreed on methods of discipline.

Positive Interaction - Have you ever noticed how we reserve our best for someone other than those we need to honor the most? Being positive-minded toward everyone else, toward all others will dramatically improve our ability to get along with each other.

When Others Hurt - I paused in the lobby of the church to respond to a woman who asked me how I was doing. It had been only eight weeks since my seven year-old son Trevor had died of an inoperable brain tumor.

Getting Along - One year ago we met a young couple by the name of Elton and Janisse. Each morning the couple started their day off with a usual greeting of "good morning and an embrace". This was a natural beginning to their day.

A Frantic Mom - During early-teen years, dating standards should be a frequent topic during informal times such as when the two of you are watching TV or when riding in the car, as well as during family worships and family conferences.

The Best of Your Time - In order to bring out the best in your children, you must give them the best of your time and of yourself. This is how you show love. This is how you build a strong parent/child relationship. This is how you build into your children the sense of personal value.

Parent Care - With God's help, lots of patience and love, you can fulfill the commandment to "Honour your parents" in their waning years, and it can be a rewarding experience.

Modifying Your Attitude - When communication has broken down in a relationship, it becomes critical to take a new approach to those sensitive issues causing distress. It becomes essential to implement a change in how the communication is processed, and to use cautious judgement when evaluating the content of our dialogue.

Positive Grandparenting - Grandparents are special! I really knew only one of mine, and she changed my life. Whenever I think about Grandma Rose (after whom I was named) a glow of cherished love sweeps over me.

Are You Listening? - Fifty or sixty years ago, it was typical to see kids and teens sit down for dinner with their parents and eat a meal together.

Your Adult Children - Getting along with your adult children can be an emotional and draining frustration to parents in every culture and generation. Just when parents think their kids are finally out of the nest and on their own, they bring in new members to the family like spouses, grandchildren, in-laws and perhaps a few out-laws.

Concern for Others - One recent world-wide media event serves as an illustration of how our society does not want us to get along with each other. Recall the cartoons that were drawn of Muhammad by some cartoon journalist in Europe? Apparently someone drew these cartoons which are extremely offensive to Muslims.

Till death Do Us Part - Marriage is one of the greatest relationships in the world and any wise couple will plan ahead for this major event in their lives by laying a foundation. But it is sad to say that many engaged couples give more preparation for their wedding day than they do for their marriage.

Retirement Surprises - Anticipating retirement reminds me of my initial date with my wife. That anticipation was pure excitement and wonder. I wondered if she would like me, if I would like her, if we could find things in common and if we could have a life of purpose together.

Finances: A Family Affair - Considering economic conditions, the time is ripe for parents and grandparents to actively share their money management skills with their families. Rather than filling children with fear about what they can’t have or may lose, how about getting them involved in productive ways?

When You Lose Someone - My mom died of pancreatic cancer when she was only 59 years old and it seemed that my 30 something year old world stood still in the pain of grief. Then my dad was killed in an accident 10 years later and the grief wound opened up all over again.

Getting Along with Others - Have you ever noticed how we reserve our best for someone other than those we need to honor the most? Being positive-minded toward everyone else, toward all others will dramatically improve our ability to get along with each other.

When Things Get Tough - They say that married couples in Western society have a 50% chance of sticking together. If you ask me, that’s pretty bleak.

Moments of a Mother - I've learned to cherish moments when my child says or does something that teaches me about God, life and what being a mom is all about. Here are a few of many such moments I've experienced with our daughter, Christina. Maybe you and your child are making similar memories now, or perhaps they'll bring back fond memories of days gone by.

Sh-h-h-h! - There are many good ways to teach our children the social skills to help them be enjoyed by others and learn to enjoy the company of others. They can develop the skills of being good listeners and learn the importance of compassion.

Neighborly Love - Many years ago I lived in a small Eskimo village called Gambell, Alaska. Gambell is on an island in the middle of the Bering Sea and the winters are very, very cold. One of the favorite activities of the residents of Gambell on those dark, cold winter nights is playing basketball. The high school opens its doors on the evenings of certain days of the week for "open-gym night."

The Sin Nobody Talks About - The word incest is so frightening that most of us prefer not to discuss it, let alone face it in the family. Since the doctor has confirmed that abuse has taken place, the situation demands immediate intervention.

Help for Aging Parents - Twenty-two million Americans are providing care for the aging as Americans age and live longer. There is a 300 percent increase of adult children taking care of older parents after accidents, chronic illness, or dementia.

Date Rape - Date rape is one of the fastest growing violent crimes in America. The National Victim Center reports that over 700,000 women are raped every year and 61 percent of all rapes are girls under the age of 18. Rape affects less than five percent of males.

An Extramarital Affair - It was late one night and we were getting ready for bed when the phone rang from a distraught pastoral couple who ask if they could come to see us right away. We invited them into our home and listened into the night as they unfolded their tragic and sad story of an extramarital affair in which the pastor was presently involved.

Ethics at the End of Life - Should we press to keep our loved ones alive at all costs and with all available technologies? On the other hand, should we shun all this modern technology and simply go home and put our love ones down like we would our beloved pets?

Alternatives to Abortion - Each year a startling number of teenage girls get pregnant and choose abortion. Such was the case with Paige who told me her story: “It was the end of my freshman year of college when I began flirting with an older graduate student. My resolve to wait until marriage to have sex..."

Thou Shalt Honor.... - Couples often believe the responsibility to care for each other is theirs alone. Older couples are generally reluctant to acknowledge that at some point one needs more care than the other can provide, or they may not be aware of it.

Successful Dating - You can spend money to make a date unforgettable, but you don’t have to do that. Spice it up with some participation. Here are some ideas.

Porn: The Damaging Effects - The issue of pornography has undergone a dramatic change over the past three decades, one that shifts the definition, increases the complexity, and requires a new level of discussion.

Organizing Family Reunions - Few gatherings are as meaningful and as memorable as family reunions. As families grow and the individual members follow their own paths, family reunions serve as mileposts. They are a chance to assess progress, share experiences and renew bonds. Family reunions have also become popular as more families have become widely dispersed.

Household Chores - My family went on vacation two weeks ago up through the coast of California. I very much anticipated this trip as it is necessary to get away from the hectic pace of daily life from time to time. However, what I equally looked forward to was a week off from cooking and cleaning.

After End-of-Life Care - Caring for our loved ones at the end of their lives is no small task and is one of the most important moral events in anyone's life. But our attention to end of life care doesn't go much beyond the end of life. After death comes there remains a multitude of moral issues with which we should be very careful.

What Should I say? - When we have the opportunity to support those who suffer, our words and actions can either be a soothing balm or a source of pain.

What Wives Need Most - When thinking about marriage, some women fantasize about beautiful homes with white picket fences, children running through the lawn, and memorable family gatherings. While women may enjoy romanticizing the concept of marriage and Mr. Right and what life may be like as a wife and or mother, the reality is that what a woman needs from her husband has little to do with fantasy.

Risky Behaviors - Parents and friends of children and youth have a responsibility to help younger generations avoid drugs and risky sexual behaviors. If we neglect to do this, we'll be faced with how to help our kids stop these dangerous behaviors.

Where I belong - Motherhood is a term that conjures up many different meanings for people. For some, motherhood may mean utter joy, while for others it denotes an endless amount of work.

Don't Spoil Your Child - Parents spoil their children by not imposing appropriate consequences, not expecting their children to carry appropriate responsibilities, and overindulging them rather than teaching them that other people—including parents—have needs that must be met.

Are You Boring? - Are you boring? I am asking this question because I truly want people to actively participate in life and not just be spectators. You are a spectator if the only adventure you seek is to watch the "Terminator" or that alligator man, or play car theft.

Finding a Good Babysitter - The best care-givers are those who have a special love for the child; who are committed and willing to sacrifice personal desires in order to meet the child's needs.

Healthy Food for Kids - Children's food preferences differ. The younger the children, the more sensitive they are to taste and texture differences. This creates some definite likes and dislikes. Most prefer natural and simple foods.

The Importance of Dads - I opened the mail to find a card from my younger daughter, who is away in college, and was startled at first. When I opened the card, suddenly Ronnie Milsap's voice started singing, "What a difference you've made in my life, what a difference you've made in my life, you're my sunshine day-ay and night, Oh what a difference you've made in my life."

The Importance of Family Traditions - Most of us have one or more "family traditions" that we celebrate, or take part in. A tradition can be something that is observed annually, monthly, or even daily. In the United States, we have some standard traditions like celebrating the Fourth of July with fireworks, inviting friends and family over for a hearty meal on Thanksgiving.

Raising Boys - When God instituted the family, He meant it to have two parents—a mother and a father. Today we live in a society that reaps the results of sin. When a family breaks up, the children suffer. Research confirms is that boys experience extreme stresses when faced with father is absent.

Sex, Romance, and Relationship Addictions - Todd, a thirty-one-year-old software engineer, has been a loyal husband for twelve years. When he met his wife, Stacy, they were both wounded, needy adolescents.

Getting Along With Others - Why can't we all just get along? Have you ever wondered why it is so difficult to get along with each other? Within your family? At work? On the road? Across national boundaries? And even at church?

Protecting Life - Christians are leading the way in the effort to ban abortion in America. One might get the impression that all true Christians support an absolute ban on abortion, making all abortions illegal in this country.

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