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When You Lose Someone

By Kathy Corwin

Photo: Studiomill

My mom died of pancreatic cancer when she was only 59 years old and it seemed that my 30 something year-old world stood still in the pain of grief. Then my dad was killed in an accident 10 years later and the grief wound opened up all over again. I was very close to both my parents because our relationships were filled with a lot of love, affirmation and quality time together. My heart continues to hold those cherished memories and for now my hope is in knowing that I will see them again when Jesus comes.

However when you lose someone special that you love, you must learn to let God heal you even if it feels as if your own life has ended too. What can bring healing once again in your life? Here are a few suggestions for you as a survivor:

1. Realize that it takes time to heal. It will not happen over night. Be patient with yourself.

2. Cry and talk with a friend as often as you need to about your loss. Never repress your wounded emotions or the healing won’t come.

3. Go back to the grave of your loved one and think about the good memories you have of them. Then in your mind release them, not your memories of them or your love for them, but rather let that person go in order to get on with your life. Sometimes it helps to talk out loud and say what you now plan to do with your life.

4. Pamper yourself weekly by doing something special for yourself like going out to dinner with a friend or buying a gift for your self. Put the event on the calendar so that you can anticipate it.

5. Give an act of service and love for another person at least once a week. You’ll be blessed more than they.

6. Ask the Lord each day to give you courage and strength for that day.Meditation and prayer can heal your soul.

7. Spend time with God in the morning and look up Bible promises that are filled with hope. Like these:

Phil. 4:7 – The peace of God will keep your heart and mind
Phil. 4:19 – God will supply your every need
1 Cor. 10:13 – God will not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength
Isa. 41:13 – The Lord will hold you in His right hand
Isa. 41:10 – God will strengthen you, God will help you, God will uphold you
1 Peter 5:7 – Cast all your anxieties on Him
1 John 5:14, 15 – You can know He hears when you ask
Ex. 33:14 – God’s presence will go with you and give you rest

Time heals slowly just as your love for that person took time to grow. But remember you WILL laugh again, you WILL have motivation for life again, and you WILL feel healed again. Allow God to take you through His healing process. It’s His special gift to you.
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Kathy Corwin, Marriage and Family Educator, writes from Redmond, OR. All rights reserved © 2010 AnswersForMe.org. Click here for content usage information.